Isn't that the truth? Really isn't it the most important part of being a teacher? To quote Rita Pierson, "Kids don't learn from people the don't like."
I have included her TED talk. It is another "fill my teacher spirit" video, for those teachers who give it their all and have the heart to connect with the children in their care. I'm not sure it will fill the spirit of any teacher who is teaching for a paycheck or can't see the value in connecting with all the students in his/her care.
My son is now 22 years old; he went through the school district that I taught in for his most of hi K-12 education. He is from Russia and came to us as a very small 7 year old. He had started school in Russia just before he came to us and we decided to place him in kindergarten. He came with lots of trauma and was 37 lbs and wore a size 4t. His first teacher was a male kindergarten teacher, at the same school I taught at, when he arrived. That teacher called me and we talked and his teacher asked me, "What is it you want your son to get out of Kindergarten this year?" My reply was, "He needs to learn English and to follow the school routine." "I can do that," was his teacher's reply. Sergei found joy in his kindergarten year.
As time went by, my son had teachers who cared about the children in their class, but some of them focused on what he didn't know and not on what he did know and could do. He had one teacher for learning disablities that treated him as a number with XYZ issues. I still wonder to this day if she understood what an IEP meant. Individual Education Plan. She was rude and I'm sure did not like her job. We ended up leaving that school because many focused on where Sergei should have been and not about where he was.
Not long ago, while we were out for a mom and son breakfast he asked me, "Mom, why did school not teach me things I needed to know?" I asked what he meant and he said that he wanted to know more life skills. He struggles with memory issues so I wonder why his High School psychologist was so worried about him learning his multiplication facts and not on teaching him how to use a calculator.
I write this today because most of us are at the end of a school year either as a teacher, as a parent, or a guardian of a child. Stop and think, are you focused on what a child can do or what they can't do? I am not saying that we don't want to help children acquire skills they need in life, but I am saying if those skills are unobtainable, why do educators focus on things that can't happen? If we build on what they can do, won't that lead to children being more confident and less defeated.
I have to share that my son moved to a school for 4-6th grade where the principal had a sign in the lobby -Kindness Matters. At that school, the staff cared at a deep level for the children in their school. Anyone watching the welcomes, in the mornings, and the good-byes, in the afternoons, knew that those children had relationship with those teachers and staff. Sergei thrived at that school. In junior high and in high school the ratio of teachers who built relationship with him decreased and so did his self -esteem and his interest in being at school.
So as we come to the end of this year, we take inventory. We put away the books, the blocks,
the paints, etc., shouldn't we all also take inventory or reflect on what kind of relationships we built with our students and families? Shouldn't we start to think about how to build relationships from day one, over the summer, so that we hit the ground connecting from the get go next year? Maybe we need to spend time recharging our spirits so that we are ready to connect with students when that first day arrives.
I know many of you know this in every inch of your being, but some of those who read this might see a piece or two they could could change to better connect with each child next year. Why???because they will always remember the way you made them feel.
Wishing you well,
Teacher Deb
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